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Content and cartoons are from all over, many from members of
our own Kitchen Round Table

NOTHIN' LIKE MOM'S MEAT LOAF!
A newlywed husband comes home to find his wife in tears. "Goodness! What's wrong, Honey?"
His wife answered, "It's awful ! I made a meat loaf for you. I got it out and set it on top of the stove to check it, and the phone rang. When I came back into the kitchen, I found that the cat had eaten the entire meat loaf!"
"Aw, don't cry Honey. I'll get you a new cat in the morning."
.......................................From Trader Johnny

AAAHHHH, WINE AND LIFE!!
Woman's Quote of the Day:
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something which you'd like to have dinner with"

Men's Counter-Quote of the Day:
"Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."
...............................................From my neice, Barbara

WINE AND FOOD RATIONALIZATION
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine , and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like, it is speaking English that kills you!
.............................................................From Joanne

Definitions of Basic Cooking Terms
From Linda, the wife of the guy who built our house!
TONGUE A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.
YOGURT Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.
RECIPE A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.
PORRIDGE Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
PRE-HEAT To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.
OVEN Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.
MICROWAVE OVEN Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.
CALORIE Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.
ARAB COFFEE Thick, black, bitter coffee, traditionally served in tiny cups at gunpoint.
DEFINITION OF AN OUTDOOR BARBECUE
(Or: When "Real Men" Cook)
When a man volunteers to cook dinner on the grill to give "the little woman" the night off, the following chain of events is put into motion:
  1. The woman goes to the store and buys all the ingredients.
  2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
  3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
  4. The man places the meat on the grill.
  5. The woman goes inside to check on the vegetables and set the table.
  6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
  7. The man takes the meat off the grill, hands it to the woman, sits back down and pops another beer.
  8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
  9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
  10. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her "night off." And upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
.....From the wife of the guy who built our house (and who I'm sure has been spying on my hubby! *LOL*)
MY APPETITE IS MY SHEPHERD
(Pound 23)
My appetite is my shepherd; I always want.
It maketh me sit down and stuff myself.
It leadeth me to my refrigerator repeatedly.
It leadeth me in the path of Burger King for a Whopper.
It destroyeth my shape.
Yea, though I knoweth I gaineth, I will not stop eating
For the food tasteth so good.
The ice cream and the cookies, they comfort me.
When the table is spread before me, it exciteth me,
For I knoweth that I sooneth shall dig in.
As I filleth my plate continuously,
My clothes runneth smaller.
Surely bulges and pudgies shall follow me all the days of my life
And I shall be "pleasingly plump" forever.
................................from Trader Johnny
MORE 'TOONS AND GIGGLES COMING!!

BACK TO REAL FOOD!

Copyright © 2001 Carol Stevens, Shaboom's Kitchen, All Rights Reserved